The Quiet Anchors: Honoring Family Caregivers in 2025

“We’re all just walking each other home.” Ram Dass

This metaphor, Quiet Anchors, refers to family caregivers, who often go unnoticed. Yet, they are critical to the healthcare system. These “quiet anchors” are the backbone of care that allows many to remain at home and avoid institutions.

When we think of healthcare heroes, we often picture nurses, doctors, and emergency responders. However, behind closed doors in millions of homes across the U.S., another kind of caregiver works tirelessly—often without pay, training, or recognition. These are family caregivers: spouses, children, siblings, and friends who step in to care for loved ones facing episodic and chronic illnesses, disabilities, or aging-related needs. Family and friends never plan to be primary caregivers, but it is their reality.

According to the latest AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) report (2020), 53 million adults in the U.S. were providing unpaid care to a family member or friend, an increase from 43.5 million in 2015. This number continues to rise, sometimes called the “silver tsunami.”

AARP, NAC, and Caregiver Action Network (CAN) indicate that in 2025, the needs of family caregivers are evolving rapidly. While their commitment to this work remains strong, the pressures are mounting. Here are some of their findings:

• Financial Stress: Many caregivers reduce their work hours or leave their jobs to provide care, often spending unbudgeted money out of pocket each year. Recent cuts to the federal budget keep this issue at the forefront.
• Mental Health Impact: Caregivers often experience burnout, isolation, and anxiety, which can lead to breakdowns. However, it is frequently challenging to find support.
• Lack of Training: Most caregivers receive little instruction on managing medications, addressing mobility issues, or providing emotional care. Over 60% of caregivers are women, and the average age of caregivers is around 49.
• Workplace Challenges: There is a growing demand for paid leave, flexible hours, and remote options for caregivers. The impact on work productivity adds another source of stress.
• Tech Gaps: While apps and monitoring devices offer potential assistance, challenges persist in digital literacy and affordability.
• Cultural Barriers: Language, stigma, and immigration status can hinder access to support.
• Policy Gaps: While this issue is receiving some attention, it has not captured the focus of policymakers. Advocates are pushing for caregiver tax credits, paid leave laws, and more comprehensive support systems.

It is not uncommon to hear caregivers state that overnight, they became their parents’ nurse. This is a familiar story that highlights the urgent need to recognize, support, and advocate for these Quiet Anchors.

As a nurse for over 48 years, I’ve supported countless families through the challenges of caregiving. Recently, however, this reality became deeply personal for me. After undergoing unplanned open-heart surgery, followed by a knee replacement, my husband had to assume the role of primary support for everything. Despite my professional knowledge, it was a humbling experience to be on the receiving end of care and even more eye-opening to witness the stressors it created. While we understood this disruption to be episodic, the emotional toll, constant vigilance, and upheaval in our daily lives profoundly affected us. It reminded me that even the most devoted caregivers are often stretched far beyond what anyone should manage alone. For many, chronic illness transitions into a permanently changing landscape with much more at stake.

While adult children often support their aging parents, many are also caring for their own families, leaving them sandwiched between multiple caregiving roles that can be both emotionally and physically demanding. Some adult children see you as independent in all areas of your life and assume if you need help, you will ask for it.

This could be your story or that of someone you know. Many caregivers are thrown into this role overnight without preparation or a transparent support system.

So, what can you do for the “Quiet Anchors” in your life

1. Ask how they are doing—and listen.
   Caregivers are often asked about the person they’re caring for but rarely about themselves. Check-ins by phone or text help with the sense of isolation caregivers often feel.
2. Offer specific help.
   Instead of saying, “Let me know if you need anything,” try:
   • “Can I drop off dinner this week?”
   • Consider a gift card to a local restaurant for take-out.
   • “Would it help if I ran some errands for you?”
   • “I’m headed to the market/pharmacy. Is there something I can pick up for you?
   • “I’m free Saturday—can I sit with your loved one while you take a break?”
3.  Give them the gift of time.
   Offer a few hours of respite so they can nap, walk, read, exercise, have lunch with a friend, or breathe.
4. Send a handwritten note or text of encouragement.
   Remind them they’re seen, loved, and appreciated.
5. Help them prioritize self-care.
   Rather than remind them to care for themselves, gift a massage, meditation app subscription, or yoga class. Encourage breaks without guilt.
6. Resources for Caregivers: Here are a few good places to start.
   • AARP Caregiving Resource Center
   • Family Caregiver Alliance
   • National Alliance for Caregiving
   Here are a few apps focused on alleviating caregiver burden by organizing communication and coordination among those willing to help.
   Apps for Coordinating Help and Sharing 
   Lotsa Helping Hands
   This platform offers a care calendar where caregivers can schedule tasks like meal deliveries or rides to appointments. It also includes features for sending announcements and well wishes to keep everyone connected. 
   CaringBridge
   A nonprofit platform that enables caregivers to create a personal site for their loved one, share health updates, and coordinate support from a network of family and friends. 
   CircleOf
   Designed for family caregivers, CircleOf helps manage care by allowing users to coordinate tasks, share updates, and communicate within a private circle of support. 
   Caring Village
   This app provides tools for caregivers to organize care plans, share documents, and communicate with other caregivers and family members, ensuring everyone stays informed. 
7. Drop off household basics.
   Grocery runs, toilet paper, or ready-made meals go a long way when someone is stretched thin. Encourage them to keep a wish list that you can share with others who ask how they can help.
8. Offer emotional support without judgment.
   If they vent, don’t rush to fix it—just witness them. Listening is a superpower. Affirm that their feelings are valid.
9. Help with paperwork or medical administrative tasks.
   Sorting insurance claims, scheduling appointments, or tracking medications can be overwhelming.
   Be an advocate.

Support legislation that provides paid leave, tax credits, respite funding, and training for family caregivers. Caring for a loved one shouldn’t come at the cost of your health. Family caregivers need tools, not just praise.

Caregivers find themselves in the space between strength and surrender, offering so much of themselves that their own needs can become quietly, painfully invisible.

For more resources, go to my website resource page.
“To care for another is to hold sacred ground—where compassion becomes prayer and every small act is grace.” Unknown